Awareness: A blessing and a curse

There is a saying: The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Studying the Alexander Technique is an invitation to discover you may be doing things you aren’t aware of. Much of what is taught and learned begins with physical action. However, all of our actions and perceptions, whether intellectual, emotional or physical (or a combination of all) can be brought to a higher level of awareness and can become more accurate, including our perception of the world around us.

Front and center in the Alexander work is recognizing and addressing the habit of “pulling the head back and down.” Most of us don’t perceive this action, and when an Alexander teacher uses her hands to adjust the range of motion, it often feels wrong to people. See a video demonstration below:

I have been a student of Alexander technique for over 37 years and a teacher for over 30. I am more aware of when I pull my head back and down, and when I do, it is with much less effort then when I started.

What I didn’t know I would also be learning and refining is my perception of the world around me. Observing my own unconscious reactions and behaviors has been a real eye opener. I have been able to perceive how I use my voice, how I form words with my lips and tongue, how I respond to my own emotions, and how I get triggered by other people’s behavior. among other things. I have also noticed I can no longer pretend that things I am aware of are not the way they are in the world around me. At the same time, I am learning how to choose where I spend my time, with whom and how I use my time more often. I am still buffeted about by my habitual opinions, world view and unconscious biases.

What has changed is my ability to notice more of what disturbs me and what soothes me. Some scientists reduce human reaction to our propensity to connect OR protect as the two contrasting states in which we exist. I find that a simple, useful model at time to locate myself in any given moment.

I have shared in many earlier blogs my reaction to the current state of the world. As I interact with people at different points in their lives (peers, colleagues, children, college students, new parents, people embarking on their first careers, my parents) I see how differently they perceive and respond to these events.

The backdrop of the world stage impacts me to varying degrees depending on what is happening in my immediate environment: who, what and where is happening. I see more of what is happening near and far in the world, and I feel like I am straddling two realities. There are times I can engage in dialogue about these issues (climate, politics, the economy, mental health issues, social justice, etc..) while remaining present and able to function. Other times, I am flooded with reactions that agitate me on every level and I have to disengage.

The Alexander Technique has woken me up, and at the same time, it provides the tools for me to stay awake while also staying sane, connected and moving forward and up. Sometimes that means facing things head on, and sometimes that means stepping away. No one told me when I started studying the Alexander Technique that it would make life more precious and horrific. That said, I am glad I am more aware.